Funky 29th

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A few days ago, I celebrated my 29th. My birthday has become rather ordinary. No fancy dinner with family and friends. Literally none. I have become more practical nowadays (more like broke every time!).

The 26th of June has merely become a validation that another year adds to my age. Seriously speaking, I’m not getting any younger and because of that fact, I’m up to a different start.

Career-wise, I’m looking farther ahead. I love doing my job. I do my best in everything I do (Personal love department is an exemption to that rule! hahaha… I’m miserable in that aspect.) There’s nothing more satisfying than capping the day off without worrying about the things I didn’t do. If I can be a few steps ahead to avoid conflict, I try to be.

I realized that my love for the work that I do and the time and effort I put into it demand a reciprocation in a professional sense. Personally speaking, as an employee, it’s really important to be reassured that you are supported by the institution you work for, that you are presented with a clear blueprint of what they can offer aside from the commissions or monthly salary you are entitled to receive or the opportunity of establishing connections with clients, superiors and co-workers.

In my case, I put a good number of hours (12 hours or so) into my work-Not a big deal for me. What probably turns off some if not all employees the most is when the company cares more about the hours they spent or didn’t spend rather than the output. Hours bring in money-this I understand clearly. However, there should be more to a company than counting the amount of time an employee puts in for them and the profit they generate.

Career pathway and growth opportunities. What are the chances of elevating through the career arc in the organization? How long will it take? Will it benefit me when I leave work for a different organization? I’ve considered these thoughts early on. Clearly, the work culture and values are different for every company. Some would say they do offer such opportunities but later on employees realize that the conditions surrounding it exploits the workforce and disrupts work-life balance. Just wanted to point out that good-earning companies must be able to provide killer perks for their staff. It doesn’t hurt much to be able to extend care to your workforce beyond the benefits they enjoy mandated by law.

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What I am trying to say is, I crave professional growth. There are those that I can do but some things only the company can provide. If there is one thing I dislike in life the most, that would be not growing in my career while meeting expectations. I am meant to do more and I don’t intend to stagnate in my career. There is no other way for me but to move forward.

Be Very Afraid

Most of us attempt to figure the meaning of our lives. A distinct human nature to preserve self. It is in this process that we are able to fill the gaps of our existence. As events unfold and are individually experienced, we are confronted with contrasting thoughts and feelings. Our worldview takes on a new frame of reference.

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A constant in every life’s eventual adventure is CHANGE (surprise!).

It is the uncertainty of details and the resulting end during the process of change that causes conflict in a person. In our engagement with the unknown we are unable to control the entirety of the circumstance hence, we develop fear. Such threatens the very foundation of our existence.

Venturing into an uncharted territory can be daunting. It’s like blindly going for an off-road adventure. But then, we have to keep in mind that life is buoyant. It is deeply rich and involving and whether we like it or not, so are our feelings! Apparently, we will always be in a roller coaster of emotions and contrasting thoughts. At least we know this for a fact (or not). Makes me wonder if other species reckon us as walking contradictions. ðŸ˜‚

Ambiguity is Life’s game. It can paralyze or overwhelm our being which can hinder us from fully exploiting the opportunity of discovering what life has in store for us-good or bad. Let’s be real here. Nobody assured us of a good life without having to work hard for it. And sometimes, no matter how hard we work for something, we still fail at it. This is reality.

It also pays to be cynical at times-not recommending you do the same. ðŸ˜‚  I’d rather be cynical (done in moderation) than have false expectations. I wouldn’t want to witness myself choking on my own fantasy and eventually dying from it. That would be too tragic!)

So, if you fear change, be very afraid. You have all the right to be. Let your fear isolate you from the world so you can find your real strength and discover where your courage lies. And when you are ready, surface with compassion, confidence, wisdom and vitality to face life’s many more ambiguous adventures.

 

Peace Be Upon You

Whenever I’m back home in the province for the duration of Christmas and the New Year, I rarely find myself in the company of friends nor do I roam the city and the rest of my hometown. Most times, relatives, friends and even neighbors have no idea that I’m back to celebrate the holidays in Ilocos. They would only find out after my mom or siblings post pictures on social media. I’ve always valued this time to just be with family, find comfort in the company of my canine loves (Oreo and Snickers) and completely detach myself from other people and drama. The week long vacation gives me enough time to evaluate what I’ve done over the previous months and what I plan to focus on and achieve for the next year. In the course of my yearly “longest” vacation, I get to recharge and put most if not all in perspective to prepare for the following year.

inner-peaceWhat I have learned over the years is to just be at peace with myself- Not letting negativity dominate my thinking, never assuming but as much as possible trying to communicate with words, not expecting, practicing my faith, living in the moment, delving beyond the superficial, being patient, not taking things too personally, learning and acceptance of what is true and realistic.

Choosing to be at peace with myself was a sudden realization as a result of an arduous process. It was a state I was mentally and emotionally prepared to be in after years of struggle and uncertainty. Having been in a state of crisis for quite sometime some years ago, this (being at peace with myself) has to be my greatest accomplishment thus far.

I am just thankful to have reached this stage of my life wherein I have set myself free from the past, I don’t have to beat myself up over situations I can’t control, I have learned to accept and understand why things happen the way they do and that I no longer have to pretend I’m okay even if I’m not.

If you are reading my post until this part, know that I am truly happy. What I have now and where I’m in, I’m contented. I don’t aspire for much. Some of you might even say I’m not ambitious enough but I pray that you also find the peace you’re either consciously  unconsciously looking for.

Happy New Year!

Wishing everyone all the best for 2018!